I get a lot of sweet emails that I don’t deserve along the lines of: “Noel! I don’t know you in real life, but I think you’re fantastic anyway. How do you do it all?”

Well, I am here to offer to you my unsolicited wisdom which you probably did not ask for, unless you emailed me asking for advice. I am not any wiser than you and I seek advice from my friends on a regular basis, which means I am just as qualified as any lady mag to dole out the answers to life. (College-aged interns conduct research for magazine articles, remember?)

It is the first day of the new year, and I am about to board my plane to Paris, which means I have ample time to pretend I have something to offer you as a 21-year-old college student who once cried in the library while listening to Taylor Swift’s “Never Grow Up” (this was probably a month ago) and once snuck a giant piece of leftover vegan carrot birthday cake into the library as a midnight snack and got frosting all over her laptop (this was probably two weeks ago). I also spend too much time in libraries, as you can tell. During the school year, I would go to class in the morning, intern at Teen Vogue until evening, and then overdose on caffeine in the library until 2 a.m. or later. Rinse. Repeat.

Nonetheless, here are twelve things I’ve finally learned at the ripe age of 21. I know I learned these things within the last ten years because I did not know when when I was 11 years old, when I had no friends, average grades, and ate Toblerone and Hot Cheetos for lunch:

1. To quote the admired Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” That includes yourself. You will encounter countless people who will make you want to curl up into a ball and shrink, but that probably means they encounter countless people who make them want to curl up into a ball and shrink, too. I noticed a terrible pattern in myself this year — I had a lot of self doubt in the classroom that also mirrored what was going on outside of the classroom (i.e., my social life). During office hours, my favorite professor said, “Stop it. You’re smart and you offer insightful comments in class. Stop apologizing for nothing. You are the most apologetic student on campus.” So, I stopped apologizing for who I was. And you should too, because you’re wonderful.
2. That said, don’t make others feel inferior on purpose. You’re wonderful and you’re probably awesome at something, whether it’s making pastries or speaking seven different languages (Pig Latin totally counts, right?!) or that underrated trait known as being a good listener. Now, that doesn’t mean you should hide your talents or be less than the awe-inspiring person that you are. But it does mean that it is likely that the person you’re interacting with has been having a bad day and is feeling down and low about his or herself, and you’re doing yourself a disfavor if you make yourself feel better at another’s expense. Attention eighth grade girls: You’re only losing out on a chance to get to know your classmates when you exclude them from your lunch table “clique.”
3. Give people a chance. My freshman year of high school, I met a girl who brought an entire suitcase of Mentos on a school trip. I thought she was odd. Then, she sat next to me on the bus. Then, I found out she was my roommate on the school trip. And I love her to this day because she is one of the most genuine and brilliant people I’ve ever met. And not many people knew that because they didn’t bother to get to know her. Side note: Normal people are overrated because they don’t exist.
4. You don’t have to be pretty all the time. I mean, it’s great to hear affirmatives like, “Everyone’s beautiful in their own way,” but it’s not that important. And sometimes when your face decides to look like a pepperoni pizza and you gain five pounds over the holidays, you don’t feel so pretty. And that’s okay. I never understood why my fellow females felt the need to wear stilettos and mini skirts to get into frat parties when the fraternity brothers wore regular t-shirts and jeans. Being pretty is just another trait, like being smart or being flexible, and it doesn’t have to be upheld on a pedestal. And it doesn’t find the cure for cancer either.
5. Do yoga. Or just do something nice for your body on a regular basis. But I recommend yoga if you have the resources. This is different for everyone, but for me, yoga is about learning to forgive myself for my mistakes and “failures” as a person. It’s about taking 90 minutes out of my day to listen to myself instead of the demands of the world. On the physical side, it stretches and tones. And you get an excuse to buy Lululemon leggings, which I would spend every day of the week in, if I could. Side note: When you feel lazy, throw on a pair of Lululemon leggings, a pair of loafers, a oversized cashmere sweater, and a chic tote bag. You can zip from the library to dinner without an outfit change.
6. You should shoot for the stars because no one else is going to do it for you. In fact, if you don’t shoot for the stars, someone else will. And you’re going to be looking up at the sky and wondering, “Why am I down here?” You don’t have to tell everyone what your dreams are, but you should have some and you should believe in them. I tell only a few friends what my dreams are, but we keep each other motivated and on a realistic path to achieving them.
7. Be serious about your education. I complain about writing 40-page papers and reading 500-word books as much as the next sleep-deprived student, but my professors always remind me that this is the one time in my life in which my only job is to read and write and think. You don’t get many chances to sit around a room with your classmates and discuss and get angry with each other because you don’t see eye-to-eye, and that’s a-okay because you’re guaranteed to learn something from each other, even if it’s just that you can’t stand the person sitting next to you. Also, you should be serious about your education because your professors devoted their lives to academia and education, and you would want others to respect you for your work, too.
8. Get some work experience. Work experience that actually teaches you something. In high school, I had classmates who did “internships” through family connections in which they faxed and filed all day, when they weren’t pretending to look busy on the computer. It looked pretty and prestigious on college applications, but none of them were passionate about their positions. It sounded like a waste of a summer, and let’s be honest — you don’t have many summer breaks left before you enter the real world. So, get some work experience in a field that you’re interested. Get some work experience that forces you to think. In high school, I flew to New York by myself and I did an internship at Seventeen that made me realize how much work goes into magazines, and I still keep in touch with my former editor to this day. A worthwhile internship may be harder to find, but you want the best for yourself and you have no time to waste, after all. Just don’t settle.
9. Forgive yourself and your friends. We only hit puberty about ten years ago. We’re still trying to figure things out. And sometimes, we mess up. And most of the time, we can find a way to forgive. My closest friends are friends I’ve had fights with, but instead of venting behind each other’s backs, we confronted each other and forgave each other.
10. The three hours after you wake up are the most productive hours of your day. I stole this from one of my very accomplished professors, who I assume is more productive than the average American. It doesn’t matter when you wake up; you could wake up at 2 p.m. after a long night and your most productive hours would be from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. I have no scientific proof of this, but I always wake up at 5 a.m. (unless I go to bed at 5 a.m.) and work until 8 a.m., and I think I’m relatively productive for a college student.
11. Drama doesn’t last forever, but your GPA does. Look, I could preach that your grades mean zilch and of course, your self worth isn’t based on a number. However, grades matter a lot more than many things, especially if you plan on attending grad school. Sometimes you really do have to turn off your cell phone, let social obligations fall to the wayside, and hit the books, if that’s what it takes to get the grade you want.
12. As the great E. Jean Caroll writes, “If you want to be told you look gorgeous, tell people they look stunning. We’re all the prettiest girl in the room, depending on the day, the hour, and the room.” Compliment people. It doesn’t hurt, and we all have something worthy of compliments. Read the rest of her column, “25 Things Every Woman Should Know,” here.

Remember, all advice should be taken with a grain of salt, especially if they come from me. And now, I’m about to board my plane. See you in seven months, America! Happy new year!