Noel Duan

21 Feb 2012
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I had to write an op-ed in defense of true love for French class

I’m not really good at defending love (be still, my cynical heart), but I tried. However, just as I finished writing my agonizing piece on why love still exists for young people, I found this advice column on Spectrum, Columbia Spectator’s blog:

Dear Emily,

I am totally interested in having a boyfriend right now, but afraid of the time commitment it may involve. School work alone keeps me crazy busy, but at the same time, if I don’t start dating now, am I destined to be alone forever? After all, school work (and life) is always going to be busy. What should I do?

Sincerely,
I’ve Got To Straighten Out My Priorities

Dear I’ve Got To Straighten Out My Priorities,

Once, several years ago, I asked my uncle if he wanted to get married. And his response was that marriage is not like Europe. And I was like, “What is this analogy and why is it so weird?” And he was like, “I know that I want to go to Europe. I know what’s there, and I know I want to see it. But how can I say that I want to be married in the abstract? I want to get married to a person, if I meet the right person.”

A boyfriend, IGTSOMP, is also not like Europe. And if you want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend, then, yes, he will seem like a time commitment. If you go out and pull a Rihanna (just live your life), you will, I am sure, through clubs or classes, through friends or family, somehow, someway, at some point, find a boyfriend who will seem more like a wonderful individual whom you can’t wait to spend time with and less like a distraction from school work.

If you want to have a boyfriend right now, you can probably find one. There are dating sites and friends of friends and cute kids in Core classes. But it sounds to me that you want a boyfriend because you’re afraid of what you’ll become if you don’t have one. And all you will become, if you remember that relationships are not like Europe and keep your mind open to the possibility (not the necessity!) of dating, is a fulfilled young person who will be ready to date the right person when he, in all his individual glory, comes into your life.

Just ask my uncle—he’s celebrating his ten-year wedding anniversary in the fall.

So, hey, there we go.

8 Feb 2012
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2 notes

I love Jane Pratt. I should probably stop reading xojane.com and finish my homework though.

9 Dec 2011
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16 notes

Teen Vogue, February 2008

Still one of my favorite editorials from Teen Vogue of all time.

I mean, I kind of believe in romance when I look at this photo.

2 Oct 2011
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w4m

I had my first “Missed Connections”-worthy moment today. It was brilliant and awkward.

Too bad my faith in the power of the internet stops at romance.

1 Apr 2011
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3 notes

I’m still in prom mode

So, I know quite a few fellow schoolmates who are getting married in the near future. They’re only one or two years older than me. They haven’t even graduated college yet.

It’s kind of surreal, because I’ve yet to figure out how to talk to boys.

7 Mar 2011
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“Because there are no men. You might think that when you elevate yourself to a certain status, love will easily follow. But it doesn’t work that way. I know many women in their early thirties who are beautiful, smart, kind, successful, and yet, still single. In Korea, men are still afraid of career women. And once you go over your thirties, it just becomes even more difficult to find someone. So don’t let go of your chances at love when you are young because they won’t come so easily the older you get.”

—

HJ, answering my question of why so many great women she knows are still single. (via junimujj)

I don’t know. I do agree with that, but I also think the statement sells many amazing guys short. And it sells many amazing older women short. But maybe that’s just Korea’s culture?

3 Dec 2010
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17 notes

“

We are young, we are sort of free, and we are all just starting to understand what will come after we graduate. Most of us come to college with an I-know-everything feeling embedded deep inside—we secretly believe that we’re the cream of some crop, and we want to prove to the world that we can do this. But as I’ve discovered, the world doesn’t care. It confronts us with very real, very adult situations that we can’t run to mommy or daddy with.

Love is one of these. I’ve watched countless friends soar to the heights of excitement, wane, and come crashing down at the hands of love. Every type of person is affected—geeks, jocks, party animals, and those cruising around in between. Cupid doesn’t care how smart or confident you are—he’s going to get you and tear you to pieces no matter where you hide, so just accept it. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it can be painful. And yes, it’s frustrating. But it’s also inspiring, life-changing, amazing, and, well, sexy. So, I say, here’s to love. Cheers.

”

—

Valeriya Safronova, Columbia Daily Spectator

I used to wonder why my beautiful, smart, accomplished, confident, fun, and witty friends would seem to become completely different people under the influence of love. I didn’t think I’d find the answer in a column in my school newspaper. Cheers indeed.